echoes of what they are
by Adria Ember
Summary: It scares them, what they are. Bonnie & Stefan


**echoes of what we are becoming  
Fandom**: The Vampire Diaries  
**Pairing**: hints of Bonnie Bennett/Stefan Salvatore  
**Rating**: R  
**Warnings**: spoilers for the finale, some language, blood and some gore  
**Summary**: It scares them, what they are.  
**Notes**: for a prompt for the TVD fic-a-thon.

* * *

"For some reason I thought with you it'd be…_easier_."

"It scares me what you are…what _I_ am."

"I know."

-x-

They asked her to do another spell. She was in the middle of writing an introductory paper on occults when Stefan called her. Bonnie had gritted her teeth and hesitated. He caught it (_but he always catches it, always knows_). But she agreed anyway when she was told Elena might be in danger (_always for Elena_).

He drives her to a cemetery, where some ancient pendant is supposed to be buried. He asks if she could find it and she says it's no problem (_it is a problem_). She's able to find it within a minute and he digs. It's about eleven at night and she yawns as he scoops the dirt hurriedly at super speed.

He looks up and pauses, hearing something. It's then she hears a hiss and turns to her right. Bonnie spies someone across the cemetery. A vampire, she realizes with dread. Stefan is already standing and grips her wrist to pull her towards him.

Stefan's eyes darken and Bonnie feels that familiar pang of fear somewhere deep inside her chest. She's not scared for her life. But it's like a reminder that they exist—his kind, _her_ kind. No one is just human anymore—there are hidden beings and knowing they've walked among everyone else is unsettling.

Without thinking, Bonnie is channeling the air around them and pushes the vampire back as he speeds forward. Stefan glances at her momentarily with some warning. He doesn't want her involved (_too late, they both know_). The vampire gets up from the ground and heads for Bonnie. But by then, Stefan tackles him to the ground and they're rolling in the dirt as a blur and Bonnie can't really see what's going on. Stefan throws him into the nearby stonewall.

"What the hell do you want?" Stefan demands, fangs protruding.

The vampire, blond, brown eyed, curls his lips. "I want the necklace."

Bonnie narrows her eyes and raises a hand, pinning him to the wall. Stefan throws her another look. He never did like her fighting for some reason—a reason he can't really place himself. Bonnie ignores it and steps besides him, glaring at the vampire.

"You want a cure."

They're only here because the pendant had been made by Ayanna and was said to be part of the cure for vampirism. Stefan had gone through some archives that spoke of something like it. It's a mere theory (_always theories because that's all they have). _And he's grateful Bonnie would do this for him. Though, now, he's not so sure.

The vampire rolls his eyes. "Of course I do. I'm not the only one."

Stefan bristles. He'd be lying if he said he didn't miss his humanity but if there was a chance to become human again, he'd give it to Elena. Especially if this was only a onetime thing. Knowing others might be after it makes him uneasy. How did they know? He had only told a few others before this. He sighs. _Elena_.

He hears a scoff next to him and he looks at Bonnie, raising an eyebrow as she stares at the vampire. "You should have known better than to attack us then. You're foolish."

"Am I?" he cocks his head to the side at the witch and Bonnie tenses. "You're only a witch. I could easily snap your neck. There's no coming back from that."

Stefan speeds forward, and has him by the throat, Bonnie still holding him against the wall with her mind. He glowers at the vampire and through gritted teeth, "And I could _easily_ rip your heart out."

"Stefan…"

The vampire smirks. "No, it's okay, witchy, let him fight your battles."

There's a moment in between the time the vampire's eyes roll back and he screams. Stefan immediately releases him and he crumples to the ground. He glances back to Bonnie, who has her eyes trained on the writhing vampire's body. The screams get louder and he grips his head, blood running down his nose and trickling from his ears.

"My battles are not spoken for by you," Bonnie lowers her hand and sighs out as she stops the pain. "You are not even worthy to be involved in any of my battles."

As she turns to Stefan, the vampire hisses and speeds towards her. Instinctively, Stefan pins him to the ground and thrusts a hand through his chest, pulling the beating heart out. He watches the life die in his eyes with morbid fascination and seconds later, he finds himself stumbling back, dropping the organ.

The impulses are always hard to control (_always there, running through his veins_). Not just the addiction but the animalistic drive. It's always been there, the nature to kill, to claim. _Monster_. That's what he is. And maybe he's just a little frightened about that too. He recalls Bonnie's words one time; she had openly stated she was scared of what he is, what _she_ is. But she could never know about the monster. With so many years of living with the darkness inside him, she could never know.

A hand rests upon his bloodied one and he snaps his gaze towards Bonnie. Her face is nearly neutral and he wonders how that could be. But he reminds himself this is Bonnie and she's probably seen worse. He lowers his hand with hers and she withdraws slightly with a sigh.

"No more favors," he murmurs.

"You're afraid," she says, understanding already.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."

Bonnie doesn't answer. In some ways, she feels as if it's her fault (_letting him take on the vampire, not stopping the kill when she could have_). She wonders if he knows his eyes are still dark and veins have flowered around them. Probably not. And she won't tell him. When she looks back up, he's still staring at her, obviously trying to fight it—whatever _it_ is. Bonnie thinks it's that dark feeling. The same feeling she had when she wanted to do the same to the vampire just now (_rip his heart out, kill_). Stefan had only beaten her to it. And it's only making her heart race at the thought she even wanted to.

They hold eye contact longer than he thought. He thinks the way she stands there, staring back with the eyes of someone who isn't seemingly scared is striking. He can hear her heartbeat but she doesn't show any fear at all. Bonnie is the one to break the gaze and she goes back to the pendant. He had been able to recover some of it before they were attacked. She raises her hands and it levitates into her. She captures it with the clean hand and offers it to him.

"Take it, Stefan," she tells him, feeling her heart in the throat.

He doesn't move. "You should keep it."

"I won't," she states. "It was your idea."

He hesitates (_if he moves, something will happen, something bad_). Bonnie narrows her eyes and strides to him. He almost flinches when she grabs his hand and slaps the pendant in his palm. Something electrifies through his body and he's familiar with it. He closes his hand and steps back, eyeing her.

Bonnie breathes in and averts her gaze. "I get it, Stefan."

"I don't think you do."

She only walks away.

-x-

No one understands.

-x-

They need her for another spell but Stefan doesn't ask her. Damon takes the initiative to bring her in but he comes back with a sour mood and a stoic Bonnie. They share a look and he thinks she's been looking a lot like she doesn't care anymore (_disconnection, he knows it too well_).

-x-

A vampire actually came looking for her. The only reason he knows is because he had gone to her house to talk to her (_about what, he's not really sure_). When Bonnie opens the door, she raises an eyebrow in expectancy.

Stefan can't even open his mouth before she speaks, "Before you request another favor, could you take care of the vampire in the back?"

He stares at her strangely. "What are you…?"

Bonnie watches as he frowns and sniffs the air and the action seems rather primitive to her. He speeds off and returns a couple minutes later with bloodied hands (_the smell of death and she remembers feeling it when their hands touched once_). She opens the door and invites him inside.

"What do you want, Stefan?" she asks, sitting on the couch.

Stefan searches her face. "Aren't you going to ask what happened to the vampire?"

"Why ask when I already know?"

"How did you know there was someone out there?" he avoids the obvious throwback because the hidden message is a little dark and something he doesn't want to address.

Bonnie shrugs and lays back, staring at the ceiling. "Ever since the rumors of a cure, they've been stalking me." She pauses. "I'm not sure what you did with the body, but there's a place I've been keeping them."

He feels numb. The fact that she is saying it with no emotion scares him. Bonnie isn't like this. Is she? He remembers her trying to kill Damon and Klaus and maybe some of it makes sense (_but not all of it because she doesn't just kill_). "You don't seem bothered by it."

"I figure they'll soon realize I have no control over it," Bonnie sits up suddenly and offers a chilling smile. "Why do you seem so surprised, Stefan? Did you even think twice before killing?"

Stefan folds his lips and looks away.

-x-

He didn't. And he knows she didn't either.

-x-

Bonnie doesn't tell anyone about the vampires going after her but Stefan does and suddenly everyone wants Bonnie to stay at their places. Caroline says her place is perfect, while Elena tells her the Boarding House or hers is good. Bonnie would rather not be babied, so she refuses, though they are persistent.

Of course, she almost changes her mind when she can't even step outside anymore. There about three of them tonight. She calls Stefan and he's over in seconds. He heads for one of them but she doesn't watch to see the outcome as she's busy with the other two.

"I hear witch blood is quite nice," one says to the other.

And she _destroys_ them. Bonnie doesn't really even see their deaths. All she sees is the fangs, the blood. She remembers the first time—when Damon had sunk his teeth into her and Stefan had to rip him from her. She remembers his blood being forced down her throat. She remembers the pain, the terror. (_Blood, blood, blood.)_

Bonnie thinks she might still hold more bitterness and fear than she had thought.

And suddenly, Stefan's in front of her, holding onto her shoulders and she tears herself away from his touch (_something reminds her of hands gliding across her cheek, saying she can be saved_). She stares at him, almost accusingly (_for what, she doesn't know_), breathing hard. He looks just as scared as she feels, just as bitter, just as terrified. His eyes are still black, red all over his front and she knows the same color is all over her too.

"What's happening to us?" she asks, breathlessly, trembling.

Stefan shakes his head because he really doesn't want to confront the truth. What they are, what they are capable of—it's unnatural, _dark_ and they're headed down a path he's already been.

"I don't know how to stop it, Stefan…"

Just like she didn't know how to deal with being a witch, or how to deal with Grams dying, Jeremy cheating, Abby and Caroline turning… She doesn't know. She has never really known. And maybe Stefan does. Stefan always knows, right? He made her feel better about being a witch in the first place. He should know.

But he shakes his head and closes his eyes. When he opens them again, she spies green and she throws her face into her hands, holding back the sobs.

-x-

Maybe she _does_ understand.

It's her beginnings of darkness. And Stefan wonders where that leaves him.

-x-

He doesn't question when she asks him to stay with her until the cure rumor blows over. No one addresses it besides Elena and they side step the issue. It's easier than they both thought it would be—living together with what looms over them. Things flow with no trouble and it just feels better.

They're both growing in that disconnect (_finding attachment in each other_). Stefan's slipping back into old habits and he enjoys watching Bonnie make new ones of her own. It doesn't bother him anymore.

-x-

What they are scares them but they're embracing it anyways.

* * *

-x-

* * *

a.n.

* * *

-x-

* * *

I don't even know. I just honestly believe they would connect on a dark level like this.

Enjoy.


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